Those Relentless Girl Scouts!

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Once upon a time, young scouts, wanting to help raise money for their troop, baked cookies on their own or with the supervision of their mothers, using simple ingredients like butter, milk, eggs, sugar, and flour. And so it went for almost twenty years until somehow ... something went wrong. In this real-life story, around 1935 the Girl Scout organization began to license the creation of these cookies to manufacturers and thus began the subtle shifting of ingredients from mainly tolerable snack-quality ones to those that are more economical than healthy. Now their recipe has more unpronounceable words than is easy to count.

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Not So Sweet Martha's

We went to the State Fair a week ago and while we were there we bought a bucket of Sweet Martha's chocolate chip cookies, which is almost a requirement of attending the fair. They're not that cheap - $14 for a bucket, although they top those buckets off so high you'd think you were getting two for the price of one. The cookies are, of course, delicious. They're made to taste good.

I was feeling pretty good about the day we were there. We didn't eat too much junk, you see: NO fried foods, or soda pop, and so forth. There were one or two SMALL items that we ate - like a snow cone shared amongst the family or some free ice cream samples from Kemps - that were obviously indulgences, but otherwise we stuck to things whose ingredients were simple: Turkey. Fruit. Water. Nuts.

But now... now, a week later, I feel really, really bad about the Sweet Martha's. Why? Because a couple of days ago, I decided to check out the website for the cookies, hoping to find the ingredients list. Baked goods in America can often be filled with deceptively vile ingredients and I just wanted to find out for sure. I was frustrated to realize that Sweet Martha's does not list their ingredients or nutrition information on their website, like many a food manufacturer. This is a point in itself which could inspire a large rant, but I didn't let it get to me and decided an email request was in order. I got the response a day or two later, and just now finally got around to opening it.

I'm throwing the rest of the cookies away. And now I'm stuck with another plastic container I didn't need. What was I thinking?

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To save anyone else the time of writing to the company to request this information, here are the ingredients of the cookies:

INGREDIENTS: ENRICHED WHEAT FLOUR (BLEACHED WHEAT FLOUR, MALTED BARLEY FLOUR, IRON, NIACIN, POTASSIUM BROMATE, THIAMINE MONONITRATE, RIBOFLAVIN, FOLIC ACID), CHOCOLATE CHIPS (SUGAR, CHOCOLATE LIQUOR, COCOA BUTTER, SOY LECITHIN ADDED AS AN EMULSIFIER, ARTIFICIAL FLAVOR ADDED), SUGAR, BROWN SUGAR, VEGETABLE SHORTENING (PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN AND COTTONSEED OIL), WATER, WHOLE EGG SOLIDS, BAKING SODA, SALT, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS. (09/05/06)

If you're accustomed to reading ingredients lists, you'll know instantly that this is practically a purchase order for poor health. If you're unaccustomed to manufacturing tricks, here's what is wrong with this (at least as much as I know):

"Enriched" wheat flour: You might think that "wheat flour" is generally okay for you - but besides the obvious gluten reactions that some may have, the problem is that no food should be enriched. Again, that probably doesn't seem sensible just on the surface; why NOT enrich foods with vitamins and minerals? Because usually the food in question is being enriched because the natural nutrients have already been stripped away by the manufacturing process, and also because the vitamins and minerals often added are nowhere near as good as the naturally-occuring nutrients.

Potassium Bromate: Do. Not. Eat. If you really need to know why, let me just Google that for you: http://bit.ly/1gYqI7

Sugar: It IS only listed three times, at least! But, kidding aside, sugar disrupts your digestive processes so horribly that you should cut it out of your diet as completely as possible. Force yourself to switch to natural replacements (NOT artificials like Splenda).

Soy: Contrary to what soy milk manufacturers may be trying to tell you, soy is, in most forms, NOT good for you. Please learn about it; start with the Whole Soy Story (http://www.wholesoystory.com/). Additionally, soy - like corn - is abusing the land as it is grown in a monocrop fashion, genetically modified and with lots of pesticides.

Vegetable shortening: TRANS FAT.

"Natural" and Artificial Flavors: Who knows what the natural flavors are; after all people everywhere seemingly agree that "natural" means absolutely nothing to food manufacturers. Artificial flavors - that definitely means chemically-created flavors, and you do NOT need added chemicals in your body.

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Girl Scout Cookies are Deadly

ABC Smart Cookie - Cookie - Nutrition Facts

Look at the ingredient lists here: SUGAR is listed within the top two of each cookie, usually. They all have wheat flour, but it's "enriched" wheat flour. When you read that, know that it's flour that's been killed and then had synthetic vitamins and minerals added back in.

Then, of course, there's the trans fats. Even though it lists "0g trans fat" on the labels, shortening or partially hydrogenated oils are usually within the top three ingredients. THOSE ARE TRANS FATS. Don't believe their lies.

Throw in some artificial flavor, a lot more sugar of varying sorts including the always-evil high fructose corn syrup, artificial colors, and more sugar for the heck of it, you've got a little, delicious, and deadly treat.

How many boxes do you eat each year?

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